Oh for a webcam...

If people could see me, they'd run screaming. I have tried to self-tan in order not to look extremely white, pasty and unhealthy at the work Christmas night out on Friday night. Now, I did enlist the aid of my sister and did fork out for some San Tropez, which had better be worth the exorbitant amount of money it costs. Anyway, this stuff goes on sort of a dirty dark brown so I look like the monster from the tar pits but I am assured this is just the marker colour... otherwise, oh momma...

I have also bought a couple of things to wear - I'm not particularly happy with any combination but I think I'll do. The fashions are just bloody awful this year. Last year, it was all airy-fairy earth goddess stuff, which suited me fine. Now it's 80s revival with the gaudy stripes and primary colours and the pleated skirts, with some modern flare, only it's all bad, bad... and makes me look about 12.

I thought I could have relied upon Next not to be completely stupid about following what's supposed to be fashionable and was relieved when I went in yesterday lunchtime to see a nice wash of pastels and browns and tasteful stuff that didn't have bold, black and white geometric shapes. But we definitely fell out out after I tried on seven pairs of trousers and all were either too big / small / long and didn't have the other sizes and one pair did fit but for some reason made me look like a little pot-bellied dwarf. Argh!

However, I think I'm going to look alright. I'm not usually really obsessive about my appearance, I'd just rather not look terrible in front of co-workers!

Anyway, I have to sleep in this San Tropez stuff, which should be great fun, and then wash it off in the morning. If I look like I have a bad sunbed tan, then I might possibly die. No, I'll kill my sister first, then die.

( LJ Twelve Days of Christmas... )